A New Hope for the Shinobi World
by thatonegirlwiththehat
Summary: Hinata is taken away by a former Akatsuki member and spends her days training to kill Sasuke and Madara Uchiha. Neji and Tenten keep on getting kidnapped. Sasuke might be perverted? Naruto Shippuden with the Star Wars plot! Crack!fic, SasuHina.


**_A/N: This would have been done much sooner if I hadn't found a very lovely series in the middle and started to read them. There was a character in there that I loved from the start and although most hated said character, and it only got worse as the series progressed, towards the end he turned out to be a hero in disguise. I couldn't get enough of this character and have been reading a lot of time-consuming fanfics about him. Oh well. I don't think you care, anyway._******

**_**_This is a Hinata-centric fic with the Star Wars original trilogy as the plot. (Episodes IV-VI) It was originally going to be Star Wars with Naruto characters as the characters, but I decided on this. I've also taken a few liberties with the Fourth Shinobi War because I haven't been watching the anime and I'm not entirely sure what's going on there because I don't follow Shippuden manga._**_**

**_IMPORTANT STUFF BELOW_**

**_There's a note about OOC characters at the bottom A/N. Please read before you review. (and please do review!)_**

**_Warning: Crack story/OOC, language, and a teeny tiny bit of perviness._**

**_Enjoy!_**

**_Kishimoto owns Naruto Shippuden. George Lucas owns Star Wars. I own the imagination that brought you this oneshot._**

* * *

><p>Hinata was being Hinata -blushing as she quietly picked flowers- in a lovely meadow one fine spring morning when something she saw made her face go white.<p>

"O-oh! Naruto-kun..." She lowered her eyes as she saw him walk past, carrying a large bouquet of flowers and attempting to give them to Sakura and convince her to go out with him. Sakura was, of course, retaliating his every word with a punch.

Hinata sighed and turned around as the two walked out of sight. Even though she knew it was such a bitter emotion, jealousy tugged at her heart.

"Oi, bitch." Said a crude-sounding voice. Hinata whirled around, she hadn't realized she wasn't alone.

A taller young man with silver hair waltzed over liked he owned the place, the black and red cloak he wore unbuttoned to reveal his chest, upon which lay a silver rosary.

"A-ah..." Hinata squeaked, moving a bit away from the man. Nonplussed, he simply walked over and bent down, placing his face directly in her's. Hinata stuttered a few sounds and turned red as a... red... thing. A very red thing! An almost purple red thing! Like... a plum.

Red-as-a-plum Hinata did not faint. She fully expected to, but she didn't. She sighed a little in relief, tried to work up the courage to look the man in the eye, but her eyes fell on the f hitai-ate tied around his neck. She saw the slash through his village symbol, and her eyes widened. It definitely wasn't her day.

"A-a-a-a-a-a-akatsuki!" She stammered.

"Duh. Now, due to some completely crazy coincidences involving a lightening storm and bubble-gum, I managed to get out of that grave the Nara-bastard threw me in. Well, I might have had a little help from treasure-hunting gypsies, but that's another story. I'm not immortal anymore... got too far back in my prayers... and so I have to go on a huge killing spree. So I go off looking for my partner and the rest of the gang, let 'em know I'm not dead and stuff, and what do I find but Tobi's actually Madara fucking Uchiha and everyone except that creepy Zetsu dude and shark-faced Kisame are pushing daisies, so I have now made it my life mission to kill him and that shit-for-brains he's got running around. To start my killing spree. And I sure as hell am not gonna let the two crazy-asses and the shark-man be the last of the Akatsuki! Not when I'm fuckin' immortal! Or... was..."

"U-u-u-u-u-u-uh..."

"Shit, you aren't following. Let me put it this way: I can't kill the Uchihas outright. I need someone with freaky eye powers. So... consider yourself kidnapped?"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-"

"Ah, screw it." The man lifted her up and strode through the flowers. Hinata's mouth opened in a silent scream, but alas, her nerves finally gave out and she fainted.

* * *

><p>Hinata woke to the flames of the campfire flickering over her captor's face.<p>

"Byakugan." She whispered. Determined, she slowly reached out a hand with chakra flowing to her fingerprints, ready to sever the man's chakra points.

"Hey!" He whirled around and grabbed her wrist. Hinata quickly brought the other hand up only to have him dodge it and grab that one too.

"Careful, someone might get hurt." He teased. Hinata remained motionless, glaring at him as her heart hammered away in fright.

"My name's Hidan, by the way." He offered. If Hinata were not so frightened, she might have smiled at the situation he chose to introduce himself in. "I know your a Hyuuga, but I'm sure as hell not gonna call you Hyuuga or anything." He seemed to be demanding her name...

"I-I-I-I-I'm Hinata." She said.

"Hey, that's a pretty name! So, Hinata, tell me about yourself." He said, settling back.

Hinata looked downwards, fidgeting.

"Um, I, um... I l-like flowers!" She blurted.

"... why do you talk like that?" Her captor asked.

"I-I-I-I-I-I-"

"Stop it."

"I..." Hinata took a deep breath. "I am Hinata Hyuuga, daughter of Hiashi Hyuuga. I refuse to help you in any way and you will take me back immediately or face the wrath of the Hyuuga." She gulped as she saw the incredulous stare on Hidan's face. "U-um, p-p-p-please...?"

"Well, well, well. Hiashi Hyuuga's daughter you say?" Hidan stroked his chin, apparently deep in thought, his head turned to the side and his gaze distant. Hinata took the opportunity to get a better look at him.

His nose was straight and long, his chin firm, and his profile was handsome. It reminded her a little of Neji. His silver eyebrows furrowed in concentration, resting above his violet eyes.

"Yeah, well, I have no idea who that fucker is!" He said as he jumped up, smiling enthusiastically. Hinata jumped in shock, and realized that he now only held one of her hands.

"Byaku-" He seized her hand again, his happy expression fading into anger.

"Stop that!" He yelled.

"A-a-a-a-h..." Hinata stuttered.

"Just stop attacking me! I'm not gonna hurt you! And we're on the same team, aren't we? I need to kill those Uchihas, they'd count for like fifty bodies each what with their god-like power... eh, no offense, Jashin-sama!... and I need that immortality as soon as possible! What if I get all old and grow... wrinkles... or something!" He yelled, flapping his arms around as if to illustrate his point better.

"Um..."

"And I know that those Uchihas are planning a war or something so they're your enemies too! Why won't you help me?" Hinata frowned. "Ah, it's cause I'm a badass missing-nin. I see your point." Hinata's mouth fell open as he let go of her arms and dove for her neck.

For a minute she thought he was going to strangle her, but with a tug against her neck, he retreated. Hinata opened her tightly closed eyes and looked down, realizing her hitai-ate was missing.

"H-hey!" She yelled as she saw the firelight flickering on not one but two pieces of metal. One was hitai-ate, the other a kunai.

Hidan looked up to Hinata and smiled with grim determination, and carved a long streak across the metal of her hitai-ate. "There." He said, setting it down. "Now we're equals. Missing-nin."

"B-b-b-b-but I-"

"Shh! Now, get some sleep. I've had a lot of time to think while I was buried alive. I'm not stupid. If you try to escape, I'll sacrifice you to Jashin-sama."

Hinata mutely lay down on the bedroll he pointed to, and waited until Hidan was also sleeping before activating her Byakugan. She looked around, and was startled to find half a dozen traps placed around the small campsite. It looked like she was going to have to stay put.

"At least, for now..." Hinata whispered consolingly to herself.

* * *

><p>"Rise and shine, Hina-chan!" Hinata awoke to a cheery voice and a splash of cold water on her face. She blinked and opened her eyes, to reveal Hidan grinning brightly at her. Water clung to her lashes, making her vision blurry. She absently rubbed them and muttered,<p>

"Why... too early..." She blushed as she noticed he was entirely shirtless.

"Yeah, well, we have to train, Hina-chan! Can I call you that? It fits you better. 'Course, when you're older and you stop blushing and stuttering all the time and you get a little taller and lose some this cuteness," He pulled her cheek, which was still a little fuller than most her age from a layer of baby fat. "you'll fit 'Hinata' perfectly."

"U-u-uh..."

"Don't get me wrong, your totally cute right now. When your twenty or so, though, you'll be a beauty. You just haven't grown in to your looks yet."

"Wh-wh-what...?"

He smiled kindly at her. "I know a thing or two about this. I had sisters, you know. Well, I did kill them. Along with the rest of my family." He ignored Hinata's horrified look and tapped her on the nose with a teasing wink. "Doesn't mean I don't remember them though! My youngest sister was like you, but she grew up and turned out alright. Got some self-esteem. She was the cutest thing when she was young, but then all of a sudden all these boys were lining up to go out with her and... well, I killed them first."

He started humming as he moved across the campsite, alternately packing and stirring something that was cooking over the fire. Hinata remained sitting on the bedroll, watching him openmouthed.

"So, you got any family?" He asked her.

"A-a-a-ah... I have a-a sister... Hanabi. Younger th-than me. A-a-a-and a cousin, N-Neji."

"Your cousin older than you or younger?" Hidan asked.

"Older." Hinata said, congratulating herself on not stuttering.

"So he's probably like an older brother. I never had an older brother, just a younger brother. He was a baby... I don't think I killed him. Dunno. Not sure."

Hinata was terrified of speaking for the rest of the day, and nothing Hidan said or did could convince "Hina-chan" to speak.

* * *

><p>A few months later found Hinata gradually getting used to Hidan. She had long since given up on escaping, and decided that she could use this opportunity to get stronger. Since Hidan did have the same goals as the village, she found getting along with him quite easier. It took quite the effort on her part, as he seemed to have no problem telling bloodcurdling tales of his former deeds... and he would often come back to camp soaked in blood.<p>

She had at the very least managed to convince him only to sacrifice wandering bandits to Jashin and leave the many unsuspecting villages they passed through alone. They were staying in one such place now, trying to get a room at a hotel. Hidan was arguing loudly with the poor white-faced employee, leaving Hinata to hold their luggage and blush as strangers passed by and stared.

"Finally!" Hidan threw his hands up in the air, and walked back to Hinata. "Hina-chan, just got us a room. Let's go!"

"Could you take your bags, Hidan-sensei?" Hinata asked, straining to pull his bag up.

"Nope!" He chuckled. "Training! You have to get stronger, Hina-chan." Hinata scowled at his back and dragged the bags up five flights of stairs to their room.

Despite her attitude, she'd grown attached to the silver-haired Jashinist. He was nothing like Kurenai-sensei, often losing his temper and yelling and generally making mistakes an S-rank criminal wouldn't usually make. He had his sullen moods and pouts, but more often he seemed to be happy. His behaviour was slowly but steadily rubbing off on Hinata, she now only stuttered when startled, frightened, sad, or very, very angry and she had actually begun to shout back at her new sensei when he threw his little tantrums.

As for training, she was teaching Hidan as he was teaching her. To her surprise, he knew very little ninjutsu and genjutsu, relying mostly on his immortality to get him through a fight. What little he did know was genin level. He didn't even know what chakra affinity he was. After procuring a piece of testing paper at one of the villages they passed through, Hinata was happy to see he was a water user like her. She taught him what she knew of using water elemental jutsus, and he made rapid progress. At the same time, he improved her taijutsu greatly. The agile tricks he taught her were put to use everytime Hidan accidently fired a jutsu in the wrong direction and she needed to dodge.

Once there, Hidan turned to Hinata with a huge smile on his face.

"Uh, Hidan-sensei?" Hinata questioned. She had a nagging feeling of dread.

"Hina-chan. We have reached the next stage in our training: resistance to genjutsu."

"So..."

"Don't you think it's time to celebrate?" Hidan grinned.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Hinata held her hands in front of her face, backing away from Hidan. "I don't think your idea of celebrating is a good idea!"

"Not yet it isn't!" Hidan cried, swooping in on the cornered girl. He grabbed her and carried her bridal style outside, only putting her down once they'd reached a bar.

* * *

><p>An underage Hinata found herself surrounded by streamers, confetti, and empty sake bottles when she woke up the next morning, on the floor of their hotel room. She opened her eyes to see that she was not the only woman in the room. A red-haired woman clad mostly in fishnets was leaning on Hidan in a drunken sleep, as was another woman, this one dark-haired and wearing a bright red dress that had a hole in the chest revealing cleavage and high slits that parted over her long, bare legs. Hidan was as drunk as either of the two, as dead asleep, and had his arms around their shoulders. Hinata was unaffected, as this had happened many times before, and checked the room just to make sure there weren't any other guys in there.<p>

Hidan had taken her to bars before, she'd gotten drunk before, she'd woken up to find him with women before. So far, though, it seemed he hadn't yet convinced her to drink enough so that he was the one to wake up finding her cradling a member of the opposite sex. Hinata could not imagine what his reaction would be to that, but his reactions when she threatened to do it if he didn't stop dragging her to "celebrate" were priceless.

Satisfied she hadn't brought home a stranger, Hinata got a shower and dressed in navy shorts and her usual fishnet shirt and a black tank. She fastened her belt of ninja supplies above her hips and pulled her new navy jacket on. It was just as baggy as the one she used to wear, and just as modest. Hinata brushed her long hair, than braided it and let it dry as she brushed her teeth and fiddled around with the things in the bathroom, straightening and putting away the many objects cluttering the sink.

Hinata lay out Hidan's comb, brush, hair gel, and cologne, then left to get fresh towels for his shower. When she came back he was still asleep on the floor with his two friends, so Hinata made both beds (they always got the standard hotel room with two twins) and then took her dirty laundry and started to fold it.

She was very bored, but she learned the hard way to never wake up a hungover Hidan.

* * *

><p>When the two women left and Hidan was past his hangover (his recovery skills were something to be admired and feared...) Hinata followed him to a shrine-like building on top of a mountain overlooking the village.<p>

"Now, the Elder Sage of Illusions lives here. He's supposed to be the best of the best when it comes to genjutsus." Hidan said, sounding a little doubtful. He eyed the building with distrust, probably thinking that the Elder Sage was a scam.

"Hidan-sensei." Hinata said. "Hidan-sensei, there's someone up there waiting for us." She pointed up to the doorway, where an old bearded man dressed in traditional clothes embroidered with symbols was pacing and looking at them impatiently. Hidan looked up and scrambled up the last few steps, leaving Hinata to pull up their belongings.

"Could you have taken any longer?" Snapped the old man, glaring at them through huge bushy eyebrows. They would rival Gai and Lee's, and looked like fuzzy grey caterpillars. With his current angry expression, the two almost met and became a single eyebrow.

"Well, sorry." Hidan said sarcastically. "We heard you were the best. So teach us how to make genjutsus ineffective."

"No can do."

"I said-" Hidan started to say angrily. Hinata grabbed on his sleeve and tugged so he stopped.

"What was that?" The old man taunted.

"Teach us how to resist genjutsu and I'll... I'll... I'll give you... um..."

"Ha! What could to brats like you possible have to trade for my secrets?" The old man cackled.

"We'll... um..." Hidan stopped, and suddenly his face brightened. "While we're training, my young student here will wear this!" He fished into one of the bags Hinata was carrying and pulled out a short, light purple dress. It was sleeveless, sweetheart neckline, and four strips of vertical fishnet material that would lie on either side of the breasts. Hinata stared in horror as Hidan turned it around and revealed the material-less back with only a single strap and silver fastener at the shoulder blades to hold the flimsy thing up. The old man looked at the dress, than shocked-speechless Hinata, the dress, Hinata, dress, Hinata, Hidan.

"Deal!" The old man said, flashing a thumbs up before Hinata could protest.

"B-but!" She tried anyway, but the hearty laughter of the two men drowned her out. She hoisted the bags on her shoulders, bent over from the weight, and followed them into the mountain top building, muttering threats under her breath.

* * *

><p>"...the fuck?" Hinata yelled. "I'm not wearing anything red!" Hidan looked from his student back to the outfit he was holding. A red tube top, pants with lacings up the side, and red leather boots.<p>

"Oh... you're right. I suppose red wouldn't look good on you." Hidan muttered. "And watch the language!" He snapped belatedly.

Hinata rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Just come back with something that isn't so bright."

The time had come. They were finally ready to take on Madara and Sasuke Uchiha. Kisame had already died in battle, and Zetsu turned sides. Well, one half did. The other half had been killed. But the Uchihas had managed to recruit Kabuto Yakushi to their side and he recruited an army composed mostly of zombies.

And so, Hidan and Hinata were picking out "major badass" outfits for the student and pupil. Because they could. And they were amazing.

So far, Hidan had come back with pastels (which Hinata refused "So over that stage, Hidan-sensei!" as too girly) and bright purple. Those were jokes, but the red outfit had apparently been for real as he pouted in the clothes rack.

Hinata sighed, and went to collect her outfit herself. A pair of the same pants Hidan suggested in black, black knee-high boots, a black vest, and black gauntlets.

"Now, find something to match this!" Hinata said.

"Alright, alright, Hina-chan." Even though Hinata had grown out of her "cute stage" Hidan still called her Hina-chan.

Hidan reappeared with a pair of black boots, black fitted pants with leather straps around the legs, and black gauntlets. "We need capes." He said. "Let's get black hooded ones and put the Akatsuki cloud on the back with a triangle inside a circle and the Hyuuga symbol in the triangle instead of whatever shape it usually is?"

"The Hyuuga symbol usually is a circle." Hinata said. "Let's do it." So the two ordered custom made capes. Or cloaks. Whatever.

"I think we should get a spare." Hidan said. "Just in case. I'm getting a red and silver outfit." He pointed eagerly to a pair of red pants that had silver spikes in three rows around the legs that came with a matching vest and gauntlets. The entire thing was on display in the window.

"Fine." Hinata said. "I'll get that." She pointed at a silver mini-dress with fishnet arms and thigh-high boots. "And a red belt so we match."

"No, you should get that!" Hidan pointed eagerly to an off the shoulder, long, sweeping white dress with layers of sheer fabric and long slits at the side.

"Shut the hell up! It looks like a wedding dress!" Hinata yelled, hitting Hidan on the elbow. "Be serious for once!"

The employees of the store ("Sinister Styles") scowled at the two loudmouths from behind the safety of the numerous clothing racks and check out counters.

"I am serious! It would look nice on you!" Hidan said.

"Fine! We'll get both!" Hinata said, crossing her arms and glaring at Hidan.

"Fine!" Hidan copied her posture.

The two remained in the same position, glaring at each other for roughly an hour, before they turned to an employee and barked simultaneously, "Are our capes done yet?"

The terrified employee managed to squeak out an unintelligible answer and scurried away to safety. From behind a shelf, two bundles of clothing were chucked towards the two. Hidan and Hinata opened them up, examined the design on the back carefully, gave each other a nod, and parted ways to collect their chosen clothing. They reunited at the exit, and left without paying.

"We are so badass." Hidan laughed.

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>The two were striding through the forest, in the general direction of the Uchihas' army, looking as evil as any kidnapped Hyuuga and former Akatsuki immortal in their black outfits and custom capes, when a messenger hawk flew overhead. Hinata absently decided to practice kunai throwing on it, and hit it, of course. The hawk plummetted to the ground and Hinata ignored it until it fell most bloodily on Hidan's perfectly gelled silver hair.<p>

"Gak!" He cried in surprise. He gingerly touched the feathery and sticky mess on his head and winced. "Eww..." He said. Then it hit him. Hinata watched in fascination as his face turned white, then red, then purple.

"Hinata, you bitch! There's blood in my hair!" He screamed.

"Oh shut up, you pansy." Hinata replied.

"Auuhhh!" His anguish filled scream scared off all the birds in the vicinity, except for the one on his head, which was dead as a doornail.

"Oh, look, it was carrying a message." Hinata remarked disinterestedly. She lifted the message gingerly off of Hidan's head, getting a minimum of blood on her manicured fingers.

"Who's the pansy now?" Hidan snapped at her.

"You still are." Hinata said. She opened the message, and scanned through it.

And then, Hinata Hyuuga fainted for the first time in a very long time.

* * *

><p><em>Dear Tenten,<em>

_How are you? I'm goo-_

_Oh. Well, we're being attacked so I should probably go and help fi-_

_Send reinforcements immediately! We're outnumbered seven-to-one. Tenten, send for-_

_They had the ressurected Itachi Uchiha with them. I'm wounded, and hiding. Everyone else is dead. I'm gonna make a run for it, but considering that I'm the Hyuuga heir, I'll probably be taken captive. Tenten, please help me! You're my only hope!_

_-Neji Hyuuga, soon to be prisoner of Madara Uchiha_

_P.S._

_Hey, Tenten? This is Madara Uchiha. Let whoever is important know that I've got Neji... and he was right. I'm going to use him as a bargaining chip. I want the white half of Zetsu, or the Hyuuga dies. Painfully._

* * *

><p>"So what are we gonna do?" Hidan asked Hinata. She looked up at him, the flames of the campfire lending an angry color to her furious white eyes.<p>

"Isn't it obvious?" She said. "We're gonna save Neji. And for that, we need Tenten. She will know where Neji probably is."

"Are you su-"

"Shut up!"

Hidan sighed, but smiled to himself. Hinata really had learned from him.

...Perhaps too well.

* * *

><p>They kidnapped Tenten in the dead of the night, both escaping with only around twenty kunai each sticking out of their backs and arms. They kept her blindfolded and tied securely until they were far from Konoha, and only undid the blindfold when Hinata was in front of her. Hidan stood behind Tenten and undid the knot, the fabric slipped away and narrowed brown eyes met blank white, and blinked in confusion.<p>

"Hinata?" Tenten gasped.

"Duh." Hinata replied, flicking a strand of brown hair out of Tenten's tanned face.

"But-but-but-" Tenten stammered, looking from the high-heeled boots to the skintight pants to the revealed stomach and vest (Hinata wasn't even wearing a shirt but a buttoned up vest) that went a bit low for Tsunade to the hitai-ate with a strike through the village's symbol.

"Spit it out." Hinata said, cool as a cucumber.

Tenten had a million questions but settled for one relating more to the present than the past -namely, Hinata's sudden disappearance.

"Why am I here?" She asked. Hinata dug into her pocket and produced a piece of paper, which she unfolded and held in front of Tenten.

Tenten read it, then looked back to Hinata, her mouth wide open. "Neji's in trouble!" She stated, unecessarily.

"Kind of why we need you." Said a voice from behind Tenten. Craning her neck, she made out a silver haired man with a lazy expression on his face.

"Tenten, meet Hidan." Hinata said.

"The missing-nin that Shikamaru killed?" Tenten asked, aghast.

"Nope. I was quite alive when he buried me, the bastard." Hidan said. "Long story short, I came back and found out the Akatsuki were basically all dead and a bunch of crazy-asses I never liked were left and so I decided I might as well kill 'em. So I kidnapped Hina-chan here and we did some training and now we're gonna take on the Uchihas! We were on our way when Hina-chan killed a messenger bird... it was carrying this. So we kidnapped you."

"Is your solution to everything kidnapping?" Tenten asked.

"No. Most of the time it's mass homicide." Hidan said. Tenten gulped.

"Right, well..." She drawled off nervously.

"Do you have any idea where Neji is?" Hinata asked her.

"Well, um, he might have been in division 17 of sector 20 in area 3... that's where I heard he was last. So his trail probably starts there." Tenten said, searching her brain for where Neji might be.

Hinata and Hidan blinked. "And where might that be?"

"Uh..."

"Never mind. You'll just have to show us." Hinata said. "I'm cutting your ropes. Don't run away. We need you to find Neji; I refuse to let Madara Uchiha kill my cousin."

Tenten nodded in understanding, and the trio set out to rescue Neji.

* * *

><p>"We kicked ass." Hidan said, eyeing the numerous bodies surrounding the group.<p>

"Yeah." Tenten agreed. Hinata said nothing. Tenten had gotten used to the new Hinata: aloof, foul-mouthed, disrespectful, and argumentive. She still blushed like crazy when you mentioned Naruto, though.

"Stop." Ordered a cold voice. Everyone turned around to the sound. Tenten gasped.

"Sasuke!" She said.

"...Konoha-nin." He said. "I'll dispose of you quickly."

"Hey, Hina-chan and I are missing-nin!" Hidan cried.

"I'm originally from Konoha! And who was it that scratched my hitai-ate? Sure as hell wasn't me! As soon as we take care of the Uchihas, I'm going straight back to Konoha!"

Sasuke cocked his head. "Hyuuga's cousin...?" He asked. Hinata turned to look at him, fixed her white eyes on his red sharingan.

"Hinata Hyuuga, former heir of the Hyuuga clan." Hinata stated. Sasuke looked her up and down.

"What happened to you?" He asked. The Hinata Hyuuga in his memories was a stuttering, blushing girl who dressed in baggy clothes and followed Naruto around like a puppy. She was certainly not the stunning young woman dressed to kill and glaring at him as she spoke with the confidence of someone backed with an army -was she?

Hinata jerked her thumb towards Hidan. "Him." She said.

"Hn." Sasuke said, and charged.

He was not sure what happened, but one second Hinata was there, and the next she was behind him. Sasuke ducked and kicked out, but his foot connected with air. Hinata jumped into the air and pulled out kunai that Sasuke easily dodged.

Hidan and Tenten watched as the two battled, before Tenten remembered. "We're supposed to save Neji!" She cried.

"And I'm supposed to kill the Uchihas, Hina-chan's only supposed to help!" Hidan said in alarm. "Hina-chan! Go with Tenten and find Neji. I'll fight this one!"

"Yes, Hidan-sensei!" Hinata yelled, and ran over to Tenten so fast that Sasuke could barely follow her with his sharingan focused on her.

"This way!" Hinata ordered Tenten, and the two kunoichi took off.

* * *

><p>They found Neji in a cell, twiddling with his long, brown hair.<p>

"A bit... female for Kabuto or the Uchihas, aren't you?" He remarked without looking up, eyeing Hinata's shadow. When Tenten's appeared beside it, he looked up and gasped. "Hinata...?"

"Duh." Hinata replied from the doorway.

"B-b-but!" Neji stammered, sounding every bit like the old Hinata.

"Glad to see you're doing so well, cousin." Hinata monotoned. "If you would like to lounge around and swap stories, this sure is the perfect time and place."

Neji ignored her sarcasm. "What are you wearing?" He shouted.

"Clothes." Hinata said.

"How can you call them clothes? They barely cover anything!" Neji cried.

"Since you object so strongly... I suppose I could just go back home and change, and come back to rescue you then?" Hinata asked coldly.

"Whoa! Calm down! Let's grab Neji and get back, okay, Hinata?" Tenten frantically waved her hands in the Hyuugas' direction.

"It's not my fuckin' fault he's being all 'What are you wearing? Those aren't clothes.'!" Hinata sneered.

"What did you just say?" Neji's head was reeling. Hinata had used profanity. And shouted.

"That you're a fucking bastard." Hinata told him. Neji promptly fainted. On top of Hinata.

"Hinata!" Cried Tenten as she hurried over to the mess of limbs on the floor.

"Getoffme!" Hinata yelled, pushing Neji off her. "Stupid good-for-nothing pri-"

"Um... if you grab his feet I'll take his hands." Tenten said.

"Fine." Hinata snapped. Together they struggled with Neji's limp body down the halls.

"Oh, crap!" Shouted Tenten as she spotted a small group moving towards them. "Zombies!"

"Quick! In here!" Hinata pointed to a little door in the wall, just big enough to squeeze through. Hinata pushed Neji down, then Tenten jumped, and finally Hinata, who landed brilliantly on top of Neji.

"This is so gross." Tenten said. Apparently they had chosen a garbage chute.

"Neji's gonna be pissed when he sees what's in his hair." said Hinata. She trudged over to a door and, using her Byakugan, undid the simple trap on it and opened it. "Let's grab Neji." Hinata said.

* * *

><p>The three were walking down the halls (Neji having woken up and finished ranting about his hair fifteen minutes ago) looking for Hidan so that they could leave. Well, Hinata was looking for Hidan. Neji and Tenten were arguing with each other and could care less about the missing-nin.<p>

They came out of a long hallway, where a convenient exit was located, and an Uchiha and a Jashinist were fiercely fighting.

"Hidan-sensei!" Hinata called, trying to give him the signal to leave.

"Oh, Hina-chan!" Hidan stopped fighting, lowering his scythe, and waved.

"Yeaugh!" Sasuke yelled a jarbled mix of sounds, and charged at Hidan.

"Hey, if you kill me, you'll regret it so hard your grandkids will feel it." Hidan said. "If you ever manage to have children, that is. Hinata, I don't want you helping this kid out with starting a new generation of Uchihas. He's a total ass."

"Shut up!" Hinata yelled. Sasuke took advantage of the distraction and cut off Hidan's head with his sword.

"Ouch! Holy Jashin's shit! That fucking hurt!" Hidan cursed as his head rolled along the floor.

"Hidan-sensei, your immortal again!" Hinata yelled, overjoyed. She was very attached to the missing-nin, after all.

"That doesn't mean beheading doesn't hurt like hell!" Hidan roared. Hinata ran over and quickly scooped up his head.

"Let's go, Hidan-sensei." She said, ignoring the completely shocked and confused Sasuke. Well, no one he'd ever beheaded ever started yelling at him for it before.

"No! Noooo, you fucking bitch! I need my body!"

"Shut the hell up!" Was the last thing Sasuke heard, besides something that sounded like a slap and a wail of pain. He looked back at the Jashinist's body, kicked it, and walked away to find Kabuto and tell him that he needed to upgrade his zombies.

* * *

><p>Three years later found Hinata training with Konan, while Hidan's head barked instructions from it's place on a blood-red cushion.<p>

The Uchihas still had Hidan's body, and he was not going to forget it. After dropping Neji and Tenten back off at Konoha, Hidan took Hinata to find Konan and start training with her, as Konan was the only other Akatsuki member the Uchihas and Kabuto didn't bother with, going so far as to ressurect the dead but not bothering with the two living. Jerks.

Hinata was doing well, but Hidan could tell she wasn't quite up to par with an Uchiha like Sasuke or Madara, when they recieved a piece of unsettling news. The Uchihas had Tenten and Neji, and while they were keeping Neji alive, Tenten was being given to Kabuto Yakushi for his experiments. So after they finished up the afternoon's training, Hinata would be going with Hidan to rescue her friends and finally get his body back.

Because, Konan served cookies after practice and even if he had no stomach, Hidan refused to go anywhere without his home-made chocolate chip cookies. Hinata could have just tucked his head under her arm and left, but suffering through the journey with a complaining Hidan was something not even the stoic Itachi could've done without going crazy.

Well, Itachi was part of the same criminal organization as Hidan... and he did end up going crazy at the end, didn't he? With all that talk about stealing his brother's eyes...

Hidan, after munching on some cookies, left with Hinata to go save Neji and Tenten... again.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Hina-chan... make sure you wear your white dress."<p>

"The wedding gown? Like hell I will!"

"Fine... be that way... but I'm telling you-"

"Ugh! Fine!" And Hinata dropped his head, dug in her backpack, pulled out the white dress, and left to change behind a tree while Hidan's head rested not-so-comfortably on the ground.

When Hinata reappeared, Hidan gasped. She let her hair down, and the navy-blue strands flowed elegantly around her much as the fluttery, gauzy dress. When Hinata took a step forward, the skirt parted at the slits and her long, pale legs parted the sheer fabric to take a step. She bent over rather un-elegantly, tucked Hidan's head under her arm, and resumed the journey, this time complaining heedlessly about the dress she didn't want to wear.

"Why the hell this thing is supposed to be evil, I'll never know." Hinata fumed as body-less Hidan smirked. All according to plan.

* * *

><p>"So..." Neji said. "Is there a reason why your so slack-jawed, Uchiha?" The Hyuuga got no response, not even when he waved his hands in front of Sasuke.<p>

Curious, Neji glanced up, and immediately saw what the other prodigy was staring at. He desperately wished he never looked for the reason for Uchiha's stunned amazement... and drool.

Hinata stood there, her hair even longer and left free to fall around her. Her skin was light as ever, her eyes as white as the dress she wore that fell in layers of sheer material, revealing pale shoulders and pale legs and pale -Oh no. No. Absolutely not. Uchiha could not be staring at his cousin's breasts! When had she even...?

"Neji! Hurry up, while he's distracted!" Hinata called, beckoning him over. Neji's eyes darkened.

"Hinata, please tell me he's in a genjutsu."

"Uh, no."

"I'm sorry. There's something I must do." Neji said, as he very calmly drew his fist back and punched Sasuke in the face. It was nothing compared to what he really wanted to do to the Uchiha, but at the moment, it would suffice.

"Ow!" Sasuke yelled in surprise.

"Shit! He was perfectly distracted before, Neji! Why'd you have to go do a stupid thing like that?"

"Uh..."

"Whatever. Take Hidan and find his body." Hinata ordered, pressing a head into Neji's arms. She gave him one last stern look, and charged the Uchiha, pulling a katana out of nowhere to meet his.

Metal on metal rang throughout the hallways as the two moved two fast for Neji to see. He found himself impressed that his cousin had managed to match the Uchiha's speed.

"You must be a good teacher." He told the head.

"Oi, shut up, bitch-face! Find me my damn body before I-"

Gulping, Neji ran off to do as Hidan said.

* * *

><p>Hinata would say this: Sasuke Uchiha was plain hilarious when he was fighting. Of course, she had never witnessed Sasuke Uchiha fighting while he was distracted. Mostly, that was because there was very little that distracts Sasuke. Hinata in a dress made of layers of see-through material, with bared shoulders and the occasional bare leg, while her chest (which had been concealed most effectively by her baggy clothes all those years) heaved up and down with her pantingbreathing, was just one of those distracting things.

Yes, Sasuke was very distracted. He'd fought beautiful women before, and scantily clad women, and even scantily clad, beautiful women. He'd even fought scantily clad, beautiful women he recognized from his genin days. But never had he fought a somewhat scantily clad, beautiful woman he recognized from his genin days, who he was used to seeing clothed in unrevealing and too-big clothing, blushing, stuttering, and stalking Naruto of all people.

Naruto. His stupid blonde teammate who had a thing for Sakura, his fangirl of a teammate. The idiot and the annoying girl who were obsessed with bringing him back to Konoha. How Naruto managed to catch the attention of a girl like Hinata was beyond Sasuke. How he managed to get her to be so completely attatched to him that she wouldn't even look at the other guys was a miracle. And for him to not notice it?

Sasuke was without a doubt convinced that Naruto had a mental problem.

As he fought with Hinata, he was again surprised at her skill. Her speed matched his own, she was better with her blade and wielded it expertly, and her quick hands had already deactivated two of his chakra points. He was having trouble trying to catch her in genjutsu, constantly having to focus on blocking her relentless attacks with her katana, and his left hand wasn't focusing chakra like he wanted it to.

"Hinata Huuga." He panted between attacks. "Former heir of the Hyuuga clan. Join us. We could use someone with your skill."

Hinata glared at him, her white eyes reflected in her blade. "Never."

"You know, we're related. Think of it. The Uchiha and Hyuuga, standing together."

"Not interested." Hinata said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go rescue Tenten. Neji better hope to hell he has Hidan's body." And she left.

Surprisingly, Sasuke let her. Surprisingly, he dropped his weapon. Surprisingly, perhaps the most surprising of all, he gave chase with no intention to cause harm, but to silently watch the surprising young woman.

* * *

><p>Hinata stepped into Kabuto Yakushi's laboratory, only to see Sasuke once again.<p>

"You...!" She muttered, drawing her katana.

"Whoa! Hinata, it's me, Neji." He undid the jutsu, and the illusion dropped.

"Oh. Find Hidan's body?" Neji sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair. What he wouldn't do for the Hinata that stood before him to be stuttering in delight, with her bashful posture and perfectly modest clothes. But then that stupid Hidan came along and...

There stood his formerly shy and modest cousin, boldly wearing a dress (And she had worn a revealing outfit last time too!) that she would have blushed to think of before, with an attitude so completely like the Hinata he remembered... what had that bastard done to her? Surely he hadn't... she was so young...

"Hinata." Neji gripped her shoulder. "Has that man... ever..."

"Neji." She gripped his shoulder. "Do you have the body?"

Neji sighed in relief. "Yeah, I got it. I was looking for Tenten." If she hadn't immediately realized what he was asking and refuted it, it couldn't have happened.

Right?

She would've at least blushed.

Right...?

* * *

><p>Tenten floated lifelessly in a giant, glass tube filled with some kind of green liquid, her eyes closed and a peaceful expression on her face. Hinata and Neji remained staring at the sight (Hinata because she was wondering how much harm smashing the glass would cause Tenten, Neji because Tenten was wearing only a flimsy white shift that was rather transparent in the green liquid) until Hinata smashed the glass with a kick and the green liquid and Tenten came pouring out of the giant tube into Neji's arms.<p>

"Hinata!" Neji sputtered.

"Don't worry, she'll be fine." Hinata deadpanned, picking up Hidan's body and slinging it over shoulder. "You coming?" She asked.

Neji looked down at the brunette in his arms, her hair down and clinging to her face. Her skin was pale and had a greenish tinge to it. "Yeah." He said, and followed his younger cousin out.

"By the way, where's Hidan's head?" She called over her shoulder.

Neji shifted Tenten. "Uh... he got annoying. So I left him in the hall."

"He won't be happy. Lead the way." Hinata said, in that nonchalant voice of her's. Lately it seemed like she either didn't care or was angry...

"Um, Hinata... when are you coming back?" Neji asked.

"Back?"

"You know, to Konoha. Back to your family and friends." Neji said.

"After the war's over, I suppose." Hinata said. "Hidan and I are going to put an end to the Uchihas and Kabuto Yakushi."

"Why did he kidnap you to begin with?" Neji asked.

"Oh, you know. Byakugan and all that. He wanted someone with 'freaky eye powers' and I just happened to be sitting in a field of flowers. He's not that bad, Neji. He just takes getting used to. And patience. Lots of patience."

"...Right." Neji said, eyeing her cheeks for any sign on a blush. If Hidan so much as touched Hinata, he wouldn't be so keen on getting his body back. At least, not when Neji was through with him.

* * *

><p>After they collected Hidan's head, they left in a rush. Partly because someone was following them, partly because Hidan wouldn't shut up, and partly because they just didn't feel like hanging around the Uchiha's base (It was kind of creepy.).<p>

Once they lost their tail, Hinata sewed Hidan's head back on and he tried his hardest to move muscles that were three years out of shape. Somehow, his immortality saved him, and the Hyuuga's ears were spared much cursing and yelling and yelled curses.

Once Hidan was taken care of, Hinata managed to revive Tenten and lent her an outfit. One of her training outfits: a pair of dark pants and a cut-off shirt with the same symbol on the back as the cloaks she and Hidan wore. Unfortunately, the two had different shoe sizes. Tenten had unusually small feet and so she had to make do with a pair of Hinata's old sandals that were well-worn and quite hindered their trip to Konoha.

Hinata had sustained a few injuries in her fight with Sasuke. The most damage he'd caused was to her arm. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to sever another chakra point with it again. Other than that, she had a few gashes on her legs and a small scratch on her face above her eyebrow. Hinata was not a medical-nin, so she couldn't heal with chakra, but she did know how to make medicines out of plants and how to properly handle wounds. She took care of her legs and applied healing salve to her hand and the scratch.

All the while, Neji watched his cousin and marveled at the skills she now possessed. She had survived not one but two fights with the Uchiha... although he was both shocked at her growth and distracted by her outfits both times. Neji would not forget that when he met him next.

The group spent the night under the stars and returned to Konoha in the morning. Hinata was quiet when no one was talking to her, and Hidan was preoccupied with testing out his reunited body for weaknesses. That left Tenten and Neji, the former who was exhausted and the latter who was suddenly wary of how to speak to Hinata. He had always been the genius, but it was clear to him he'd been surpassed. Maybe, if he was lucky, Hiashi would give his daughter back her position as leader of the clan. Neji highly doubted it, but he could hope.

* * *

><p>Of course, Hinata was welcomed back to Konoha with an uproar of surprise and disbelief. She found herself subjected to questions after questions about her new clothes and slashed hitai-ate so that she was forced to use her super-stealth-skills to sneak away. She found Hidan being welcomed back by "that Nara-bastard" the "hot blonde slut" and "the fatso". For the thirtieth time or so, Hinata had to rescue her sensei and sew his head back on.<p>

Somehow, they managed to forge a sort of alliance with Konoha.

And so that was how Hidan and Hinata (Konoha grew somewhat cold towards the duo when they saw Hinata wearing her hitai-ate with a strike through the leaf symbol rescuing a supposedly dead member of the Akatsuki from her former classmates) found themselves pushed forwards as the two to invade the Uchiha's hideout while the armies of the five nations... held off Kabuto Yakushi and his zombies. One lone ninja and an army of undead that were sort of hampered from being, you know, dead.

In all honesty, the two didn't mind. Hinata wasn't used to that many people, and with all the guys staring at everything but her face and the women glaring jealously at her and anyone who kept their wits about them thinking her an enemy and members from her clan acting the most horribly of all, Konoha was looking a lot less like home. Hidan simply didn't like having to endure multiple assassination attempts from the pupils of that one guy he killed every single time he walked down the street. Getting away from it all, even if it was a suicide mission, was something like a vacation.

"So," Hidan said, as they stopped right outside the door. "Wanna ring the doorbell and run?"

Hinata snorted.

But they rang the doorbell and dove into the bushes on either side.

* * *

><p>Hidan was locked in an epic duel with Kabuto Yakushi (who decided to sit the battle of Zombies vs. Everyone except Hidan and Hinata and answer doors instead) in the doorway and Hinata was left to watch.<p>

"Hidan-sensei! Should I go ahead?"

Hidan chanced a look at her. "Yeah!"

"What if I run into the Uchihas?" Hinata shouted, as Kabuto tried desperately to land a fatal blow on the Jashinist that would actually have an effect. Yeah... not really working.

"Kill them fucking bastards! What did you think?"

"Ah, okay..."

"Wait! Save at least one for me! Maybe beat them up but don't kill 'em."

"Yes, sensei!" And Hinata took off down the halls.

Of course, she wasn't wearing the white dress anymore. No, Sasuke had already seen that. It probably wouldn't work as a distraction anymore. So, instead, Hinata was wearing a black, floor-length dress with a halter top and a neckline that tapered to a point below her chest. There was no back to the thing, and there wasn't an awful lot on the sides, either. The fabric clung tightly to her hips and then began to loosen as the dress got longer, swishing about as she ran, a huge slit on the left side where a strap and shuriken holder sat on her pale thigh. And she was barefoot, because stilettos in battle -really? The whole effect had even made one of the zombies they'd passed on the way to the Uchihas' HQ drop his jaw... literally. He managed to pick it up and reattach, only to be decapitated by a very angry Neji.

With her Byakugan activated, Hinata made quick work of the maze of hallways. Her feet slapped ever so quietly on the stone floors as she ran, strands of midnight hair streaming out of her bun behind her like banners, straight into the den of two red-eyed missing-nin.

* * *

><p>Sasuke once again had to wipe the corner of his mouth with his sleeve as he stared straight ahead. Hinata Hyuuga was there again, and this time, she looked as dark and deadly as she had looked ethereal before. However, as Madara was watching, Sasuke managed to scrape together his wits and charge, drawing his sword and channeling lightening chakra at the edge.<p>

Hinata met his blade with her own, staring straight through him with her white eyes. Sasuke attempted to catch her in a genjutsu but it wasn't working.

And then, all of a sudden, his face was pressed into something soft and he could smell vanilla and something that was flowery but not unpleasantly so. He opened his eyes and realized... Hinata's neckline was just big enough for a face to smush into.

A few seconds of awkward silence passed until Sasuke straightened and Hinata backed away. He could feel blood rushing to his face (He's Sasuke Uchiha, dammit! How was this girl having such an effect on him?) and he could see just the faintest trace of pink on Hinata's cheeks. Well. That was something satisfactory. He could remember Naruto making her blush red, and the thought that he could do the same was... enjoyable.

"Sasuke Uchiha, Madara Uchiha," Hinata began. "surrender."

"Not going to happen." Madara replied, smoothly. "Sasuke, dispose of her."

Sasuke nodded, and charged once more.

Hinata blocked and parried and nothing that he could do or say seemed to stop her. She was determined. And he grew to admire her more and more.

Which was ridiculous. He was Sasuke Uchiha, avenger, and he would not be outdone by a woman like Hinata Hyuuga. He gave one last, final attempt, putting the last of his chakra into an attack no one had ever lived through before.

And then he lay on the ground and watched as Hinata, dress tattered and hair tangled and bloody scratches decorating her limbs, tried to take on Madara. And she was no match for him. And Sasuke knew it. He understood that she was going to die, as surely as he would die of chakra exhaustion. But he did it anyway.

Hinata lay on the floor, her eyes wide and her face no longer composed but shocked as Sasuke struggled to his feet, and with his chidori, took down the man known as Madara Uchiha. He called every last bit of strength he had and he threw the old man away, far away from Hinata and himself. And when he saw Madara's neck snap, he collapsed, and thought about his revenge.

Surely it didn't matter anymore. He, the true last of the Uchihas, and the sworn avenger of his clan, wanted only to close his eyes. He could see his father, mother, and his brother and they smiled at him and he so wanted to join them. He wanted to stop breathing and his heartbeat was slowing down and there was an angel with a singed and scratched face hovering over him, her dark hair trailing against his hot and fevered skin and her white eyes were shimmering with liquid like cool pools of nothingness. The two blank orbs of what had to be peaceful bliss shone in that face. He wanted to lose himself in them and feel nothing ever again.

Then there was a pain unlike any other he had ever felt, searing through his veins and he knew he was going to die. So he mustered up a smile, one of the rare few he ever bestowed, and let it light up his face as he thanked the angel hovering over him for taking him away. But the angel's eyes were suddenly dripping with tears and even though he could see her lips moving he couldn't hear what she was saying, only the slowing beat of his heart. The angel suddenly pressed something against his bare chest, he could feel each individual finger cool against his skin. Then the pain stopped, and his heartbeat steadied, and he couldn't hold his eyelids up anymore. But he kept on smiling, thanking the angel for making his death as painless as she could.

* * *

><p>Hinata finished rubbing the salve over his wounds and scowled at the Uchiha who hadn't answered her demanding questions of why he would sacrifice himself for her but only beamed a ludicrous smile at her. She was gentle as an angry woman could be with her tending to his wounds, but at the same time she wanted to hurry. She needed to get back to Hidan and make sure he was alright and she wanted to know if everyone in Konoha was safe. Even if everyone in Konoha was rather a bit of a jerk once they realized there was a scratch through her hitai-ate.<p>

Hinata snorted. Honestly. If she ever truly became a missing-nin, she would discard of her hitai-ate right away, not wear it proudly around her neck. That whole thing had seemed rather stupid to her. You either had to sever all ties with your village or you were still somewhat loyal to your village. Except for Hidan. He wore his hitai-ate as a proud statement of his massacre.

Her thoughts turned to the silver-haired man. He would not be happy. At least she could blame Madara's death on Sasuke, and at least Sasuke was still a little tiny bit alive. Hidan could still deliver the final blow.

But then, did he really have to kill Sasuke? He had already regained immortality, killing who knows how many bandits while the two wandered the lands training for this battle. All he had was a grudge against his former Akatsuki members for leaving him in that hole (Yes, he could say whatever he wanted, but Hinata knew that was the real reason) and Sasuke had joined the Akatsuki after Hidan had been buried alive. He hadn't really done anything to Hidan. In fact, everyone that had was dead... except for one half of Zetsu.

Hinata picked up Sasuke, and he hung limp over her shoulder, weighing less than he looked. Certainly less than Hidan. She staggered out of the room, taking note of her injuries for when she was safe in a medic-nin's tent, and found her way to her sensei.

* * *

><p>The room liberally splattered in blood, his hair an absolute mess, and Kabuto Yakushi's head rolling on the floor, Hidan gave himself a pat on the back for a job well done. He turned to go help Hinata, and saw her eyeing the room and his hair with distaste, carrying an Uchiha over her shoulder, and her dress an absolute mess.<p>

"Hina-chan! Your safe!" Hidan ran over to Hinata and pulled her in a hug, effectively squishing the Uchiha between them.

"Of course. I didn't train in a minidress for nothing." Hinata said. "Sasuke killed Madara Uchiha. I think Sasuke's almost dead from chakra exhaustion."

"Oh, what a fuckin' shame. I'll put him out of his misery." Hidan mocked, reaching for a kunai.

He paused as he gripped the handle of one. Hinata's pale hand lay on top of his own, and he looked up into her eyes, as blank and white as ever.

"Don't." She whispered.

"Hinata?" Hidan tilted his head.

"Don't kill him. He's... I should return him to the village. For Naruto. He's been trying to get Sasuke back for ages. I should take him back to his team." Hidan lowered his hand from the kunai.

"Naruto. He's that brat-in-orange. The one in the field with the pink-haired bitch when we met. You were watching them..."

Hinata nodded. "I was. They are Sasuke's team." Hidan smirked.

"Of course I'll let you impress the guy by bringing back this piece of shit!" Hidan ruffled her hair and Hinata had to smile. Sure, Naruto would be impressed, but maybe that wasn't what she wanted anymore. "Now, this fuckhead sawed off my other arm... think you could find it?" Hidan asked.

"Yes, Hidan-sensei!"

* * *

><p>Sakura brushed her hair from her sweaty forehead, and collapsed onto the ground. She looked up and saw Shizune helping yet another shinobi limp to a chair.<p>

"How do you do it?" She groaned, her back and arms and just everything aching.

"Perseverance and whole lotta food pills." Shizune muttered. Sakura gave a short bark of laughter that stopped when another medic-nin ran into the hospital tent.

"Sakura! We've got three more coming in straight from enemy HQ and we need you!" Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed off the floor, strands of pink hair getting in her eyes as she dashed after the medic-nin.

He led her to a small tent. Sakura walked in and her eyes fell on the closest person. He was sitting upright, having his arm reattached as he alternated between swearing and cussing. His silver hair and outlandish outfit (red with silver spikes everywhere) placed him as the former Akatsuki member who had kidnapped...

Hinata. She was next to him, and IV dripping not-so-clear medicine into her bloodstream and she was trying to relax as a medic-nin was healing the numerous gashes and burns littering her limbs. Sakura eyes the dress she wore, torn in multiple places but everything important was covered, except for the neckline which seemed to have been cut deliberately low. Well, Hinata was one of those girls that could fill it out.

The last person in the room was obscured by two medic-nin but Sakura could see dark boots and pants and the remains of a white shirt hanging around his hips. The revealed torso was muscular but rather pale and slight, not bulky and brawny like Gai or Lee. One of the medic-nin moved, and Sakura gasped.

His hair was dark as ever, soaked in sweat and some blood, his face still handsome and proud despite the obvious pain he was in. His eyes were closed, and his breathing told Sakura he was asleep and he had a fever. A few minor burns and cuts surrounded a large gash just missing his heart, and a long, bleeding slice on his arm.

"Sasuke-kun!" She cried, and was immediately at his side.

"Chakra exhaustion." Muttered one of the medic-nin at his side. Sakura nodded and tied her hair back.

"See to Hinata. I can deal with this." The two medic-nin exchanged a glance and nodded, and left to obey Sakura. She was Tsunade-sama's apprentice, after all.

Sakura turned all her focus onto Sasuke, and her strength returned to her. She would do this, or she would die trying.

* * *

><p>Hinata laughed. The sound was carefree, light, and carried itself up above the branches of the trees she walked under with her cousin and his teammate-turned-girlfriend, Tenten. The three were smiling and enjoying Konoha weather as the two gave Hinata a tour of the new buildings she had missed seeing built.<p>

Hinata wore a flowing kimono-like dress that was typical of a Hyuuga with the symbol worn proudly on the back. Hiashi made her co-heir along with Neji and Hanabi. He trusted Hanabi to keep the stern and proud Hyuuga stern and proud, Neji to carry on the gentle fist technique to new heights, and Hinata to lend the esteemed clan her spirit of fierce determination. The three would no doubt make Hiashi prouder than he could have ever thought possible. Hinata and Neji had already done so.

It was only a month after the war, and Hinata still had healing wounds and Neji still wore a sling and Tenten was still finding bits of her weaponry all around, but the three could act like the war had never happened in the peaceful hours they spent walking around Konoha together. Sometimes they would meet others but most of the time they were left to themselves.

This was not one of those times. Hinata looked up and saw the familiar orange and yellow of Naruto and the pink of Sakura. The two were smiling happily and holding hand and what would have made Hinata jealous or sad before merely made her smile because behind them stood a tall, dark, brooding young man who looked at her and smiled ever so slightly.

"Uchiha." Greeted Neji, coldly. It seemed he hadn't forgotten that incident with that stupid white dress. At least he hadn't been there to see Sasuke fall into her chest face-first.

"Hyuuga." Sasuke said, just as coldly. But then his face softened slightly. "Hinata." He nodded his head in her direction.

"Sasuke." She smiled. "How's that wound on your chest?" Sasuke smirked and parted his shirt to show her a pale scar. Hinata blushed as he casually showed off his chest and Neji scowled.

"The medic-nins couldn't seem to keep their hands off me." He commented dryly. Fortunately, Sakura was too busy completely ignoring everything but Naruto as the happy couple headed off to Ichiraku's so she didn't hear his sneer.

"If only I had thought to go shirtless, I could've gotten better service." Hinata said in a completely neutral voice as she watched gleefully as Neji and Sasuke both began to choke. A glance at Tenten doubled over in silent laughter showed she was enjoying this as much as Hinata was.

"I am going to kill that Hidan when I see him." Neji muttered. "Corrupting her. The filth!" Hinata was unworried. Hidan had found himself the object of much adoration from the women of Konoha for his bravery during the war (and Hinata let it slip that the vigilante they had heard of who was sweeping the lands free of bandits was actually a certain Jashinist with a cussing problem) and he was unable to go anywhere without at least five kunoichi latching onto him tightly and refusing to let anyone else near him. Anko, the only kunoichi who could chase the other kunoichi away, was expected to show up with an engagement ring any day now. The two over-exuberant adults would make quite a fearsome pair, and straws were already being drawn for who would have the misfortune of baby-sitting their offspring.

Hinata ignored Neji and with a wave, she said good-bye to her cousin and Tenten and looped her arm into Sasuke's.

"So how's the repopulating of the Uchiha clan going?" She asked sweetly, steering Sasuke down a path in the opposite direction of Neji, who may have started to go into convulsions if the she judged the sounds coming from behind them correctly.

Sasuke glanced over at her and grinned pervertedly in a somehow stoic, Uchiha way. "Funny you should mention that..."

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: A few surprises there. Hidan as Obi-Wan-Kenobi was actually what spurred this idea along, but I made sure not to mention it in my profile or in any way give a hint just because I could. SasuHina pairing was a surprise. I was gonna go with HidaHina, buuuut SasuHina wouldn't stop nagging so I gave in and ta da! Also, HidaAnko just popped up. Like literally as I was writing. They get so small a mention though, it's sort of whatever._**

**_On the OOCness: Yes, Hinata is very OOC. I don't care. This is how I envisioned it and if you don't like it, well, I already wrote so I guess just grow up and learn to deal with it. Yes, Sasuke is a little OOC, Neji is a little OOC, Hidan is a little OOC etc... it's a crack story. They're gonna be OOC._**

**_And I know Sasuke didn't die like Darth Vader/Anakin did in the movie. I don't really care. I debated briefly over this and made my decision. It was mine to make and it's made and I don't really see where complaining will get you._**

**_Also, spellcheck died on me halfway through so I have no idea if certain things are spelled right. Just ignore it, along with my few grammatical mistakes._**

**_Reviews are much appreciated, as are all favorites and alerts. Thanks for reading!_******


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